Dreams, shopping, and worthiness OH MY!

Well day three was a bit harder because we ordered pizza for dinner. I restricted myself to one piece though :) I can't remember the last time I only had one piece of pizza! Its going to be hard this weekend with my sister getting married :) I know it's bad timing starting my diet before a wedding because of all that food but I know that with God's help I will be able to limit myself even if I can't completely cut off this food :)

I am really excited for this school year! If I lose an average of 3 lbs a week until school that would be 24 whole lbs lost!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! School shopping has always been an emotional type thing for me because It's always like a wake up call. "Hey your clothes don't fit anymore! You have to get a few sizes up! You're getting to big for even the plus sizes at Debs!" I hear that in my head and I always get teary and grumpy. But this year will be different because my size will have gone down.

I wish there were beginner dancing classes for people my age because I have always wanted to dance and it would keep me active. Dancers are always so beautiful and graceful and that is what I wanted to be as a little girl (if you don't count the time I spent wanting to be a princess or a mermaid). I dreamed of gliding across a stage in a tutu and leotard. But for now I will just have to watch youtube videos  on dancing.

I pray each day that God will give me the strength to keep going so I can be healthy and inspire people to know that they are worth the effort it takes to lose weight. I have trouble feeling worth but I know that I am worth it to God and I know that I am worth it to my family and I think that realizing that has shown me a little bit of worth in my eyes too!

I AM WORTH IT! I AM WORTH IT! I AM WORTH IT!

You are too :)
God bless!

Love,
Leah 

Day Three

Hiya! Day two was a little bit more difficult but still a breeze. :) I'm talking to God every day now too. I just love waking up and reading my devotionals and seeing a little bit more of God in my life every day.

Now on day three I just wish all the weight was gone. I'm really sick of being fat. But surgeries and other quick fixes always leave a lot of skin and who wants to look like they're melting? I will just have to deal with waiting. :)

I have tried many diets before, more than a lot of people my age, starting very young, but so far none have worked and I have gained back all plus a little of the weight. But what I have never tried was working on my relationship with God while losing weight. I realized that I just can't do something this hard without God's help. I think the temptation of eating will always be a big thing in my life but with God's help I think I can overcome any obstacles in my way :)

List of things that are motivating me to lose weight:  

• I don't want diabetes
• I want to be able to play around with my baby sister
• I want to look beautiful for my senior prom
• I want to ride roller coasters
• I want to wear a bikini for the first time
• I want to be healthy and active
• I want to wear cute clothes
• I want to get a leading lady role in a musical
• I want to be alive for as long as I can
• I want a boyfriend (reallllllllllllllllly badly)
• I want my first kiss
• I want confidence in myself
• I want to be able to borrow clothes from people
• I just don't want to be the fat girl anymore.

I know a lot on that list is superficial but I'm a teenager and I think about those things a lot and I care about them. Its just what teenagers do :)

So uhhhhhhhh God bless!

Love,
Leah

Introductions and All that Jazz

Hey everyone! day one went great , but when does day one not go great? The beginning is always the easiest because motivation is high. 

Yesterday was pretty boring so I'm going to tell you a little about me. :) 

My name is Leah and I am 16 years old and I'm fat. (can't you just hear the stereotypical fat people anonymous behind me saying "Hi Leah") I'm not fat because I enjoy it, I'm not fat because of other people, and I'm not fat because of some physical condition. It's my own fault that I'm fat. I could blame it on my depression or my circumstances and I could blame it on heredity and try make you guys feel bad for me. But its my fault and I'm willing to admit it.Being fat is not the only thing noteworthy about me though.

List of interests, likes, or talents:

• Singing
• Musical theater/acting
• drawing
• writing
• editing videos
• anime (only the cute fluffy kind, not the dirty kind)

There is not a single day where I go without singing a showtune at the top of my lungs :) Unfortunately though, I have never really liked sports (watching, playing, learning about BLECH) which doesn't help with the whole exercising thing. :)

I have run out of words so I'm outie like a belly button :)

God Bless :)

Love ,

Leah 

The Start of My New Life

HEY! My name is Leah and today I am taking steps to lose weight, get closer to God, and just have a better life.
I am 16 yrs. old and weigh 284 lbs, obviously that is HUGE. It has been a real challenge growing up always being the fat girl. You know what that means? 0 boyfriends, 0 kisses, 0 dates, 0 close friends. It really stinks. I want to be able to shop with friends, wear cute clothes, ride roller coasters, swim without displacing half the water in the pool and I want to be able to spend a day without worrying about stretchmarks and diabetes.
So, I have decided to stop whining and do something about it. Of course I have dieted before, but this time I'm getting help from the big man upstairs: God!
To Do List: 

• Eat less at meals (no seconds!)
• When hungry during the day, eat something low calorie like celery
• If I can't resist having something to eat, chew some gum 
• Do devotions everyday
• Ask for God's help when I'm feeling weak
• Exercise in the fitness room at least three times a week

I wanted to share my experience so that I might be able to help other people :) please follow my journey as I better my life and try to help others do the same.

Talk to you tomorrow :)
God bless!

Love,
Leah